Go to jail, BUT…get a six pack in one week, with Kali Muscle!


Go to jail, BUT…get a six pack in one week, with Kali Muscle!

Kali Muscle has the secret for you to get a six pack, in ONE WEEK! You may be be asking yourself, how in the world can I get a six pack in one week? Well it’s simple, all you have to do is follow the Kali Muscle six pack diet for one week, and you will be able to wash clothes on your abs! The diets that are out there on the internet and youtube videos are all bullshit. Kali Muscle has the answer to all of your troubles. The best part is, you will be able to eat whatever YOU WANT! Eating lettuce and grilled chicken is just a big waste of time. It doesn’t work. Kali Muscle says that is the number one mistake that everyone makes. Eating like a runway model will get you nowhere!

Kali Muscle Six pack

Look at it like this, Kali Muscle left prison with a six pack, and they do not have grilled chicken, sweet potatoes, salmon, and all the other healthy crap you are told to eat in order to get a six pack. So how did he get such great abs, and how the hell can he help you get the same abs in one week? Here is the meal plan you need to follow for only one week!

Kali Muscle six pack breakfast

  • Go to your local diner, and get 2 cheeseburgers, large fries, and a shot of Jameson. This should open up your appetite for the main course. Make sure to act like you are going to the bathroom, and leave without paying.

  • Then once you get a buzz, run to the nearest local grocery store, and steal a bunch of high quality food that will get you the Kali Muscle six pack. Such as fritos, ghetto chili in a can, barbecue sauce, and mustard, so you can mix all that shit together!

Kali Mucle

  • Now that you have completed the first two steps of the Kali Muscle six pack breakfast, please go to your refrigerator and get your human growth hormone, and stick one needle in you damn neck, and the other needle in your damn eye. It’s a very simple procedure that should not cause much pain, unless you’re a little bitch.

Kali Muscle

This technique should melt all the fat off that you consumed for breakfast, and add solid muscle mass. If you follow Kali Muscle’s tips, and always run out of restaurants without paying, you should have plenty of money to spend on human growth hormone. If you don’t, you simply need to steal more food from the grocery store, this is very simple to follow and risk free.

Kali Muscle six pack lunch

  • Here comes the good stuff. Lunch is a very important meal. The Kali Muscle six pack diet strongly suggest that you now go back to your fridge, and replace the human growth hormone needles with your large and fully filled testosterone needles, and gently place them in your pocket. If you are not sure what size needles to get, always get the ones that look big enough to kill a horse.

Kali Muscle

  • Now that you are prepared, go back to your local grocery store, with the gun you stole from your mom, and steal 10 bags of flaming hot cheetos. Then order a pizza from Domino’s, and hide in a bush, so when the delivery guy comes you can knock his ass out, and take the pizza. Then take the cheetos and the pizza, and combine the two.

Kali Muscle six pack

  • Once you are ready, grab a 40 oz of you favorite beer, and get to eating! This meal should taste good and is also very nutritious. Once you are done eating, reach in your pocket, and get the testosterone needles that you got from your fridge earlier.
  • Take the needles, and as hard as you can, stab yourself in the stomach. Remember, if you want a Kali Muscle six pack, you have to stick them where the six pack is right? It’s common sense.

Kali Muscle

Kali Muscle six pack dinner

  • It’s time for you to have an enjoyable dinner. You are on your way to an amazing six pack, you are half drunk, and half of the sheriffs’ department is probably after you, so life is good. The worst thing that can happen, is that you might end up in jail with Kali Muscle, and how cool would that be? Now back to the dinner meal plan…

Actually, let’s take a selfie break…

Muscle Roast

Ok we can move on, back to dinner…

  • At this point, you should have enough human growth hormone and testosterone inside of you to kill King Kong. That said, you should put your shoes on, and head back to the grocery store with your gun. Walking around with a loaded gun and robbing businesses is a very important staple of this diet, and will take a lot of determination.
  • Dinner is a cheat meal, so you are free to eat whatever you want. The only thing you should do after dinner is go for a nice walk in the neighborhood. Kali Muscle loved to walk in his neighborhood after dinner while following his six pack diet regiment, until he one day got jumped by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF), the DEA, and the FBI at the same time. To this day, he has no idea what their problem is…

Kali Muscle

You have been roasted by Muscleroast.com


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